|The Calamitous Carnival|
|THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH IS RIGHT HERE, COUNTS AND COUNTESSES!|
|Faction Colour||Consortium Hues|
"The celebrated Mr. K
Performs his feats on Saturday at Bishopsgate
The Hendersons will dance and sing
As Mr. Kite flies through the ring, don't be late"
- - "Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite", The Beatles
The Calamitous Carnival is a minor fan faction made by ProudAmerikan, AstralXYZ, and BouncyTEM and revived by Weeb King. Founded by a group of people known as the Comical Consortium, the Calamitous Carnival is a power bent on ending the world's woes (and human unhappiness) through various hilarious antics. While the Comical Consortium had founded the Calamitous Carnival, the leader of the Carnival today is none other than Phineas Taylor Barnum, resurrected from the dead through the power that flows within the C-space.
At a Glance
|Faction Color||Blue, Red, Yellow and Fuchsia|
|Theatre of Operations||Wherever warfare lurks|
|Strengths||Diverse array of buffs and debuffs, unpredictable strategies, comic relief|
|Weaknesses||No real offensive properties, double-edged unpredictability, some abilities are useless|
|Motives||FOR THE WORLD'S LULZ|
|Basic Look||Willy Wonka-esque circuses|
The Show to End All Shows
The origins of the Calamitous Carnival date back to April 8th, 1891, a day after the death of P.T. Barnum. Various mysterious fellows vowed on that day to uphold the hilarious showmanship that the man had brought to the world. These people, known only today as the Comical Consortium, then decreed that the world shall all experience amazing feats and hilarious antics.
The first actions for the young power were slow, since if the Calamitous Carnival was to gain any ground, it needed to absorb its competitors, such as The Barnum and Bailey Circus and the Ringling Brothers Circus. So, for the first few years, the Comical Consortium, through still unknown means, started building up the funds to buy these other circuses out. It finally succeeded in 1903, and the colossal mega-circus company that exists today was born.
With the Calamitous Carnival fully entrenched in its industry of choice, the Comical Consortium started looking outwards on how to expand their entertainment empire. There was a whole world out there to entertain, and, influential as they were with two of the largest circus groups under their wing, they were still but an entertainment group. So, in order to encourage expansion, the Calamitous Carnival started looking towards other forms of entertainment to continue funding their work, while the majority focus of the Carnival itself was setting up circuses throughout Europe and Africa.
This slow progression for the Carnival was smooth until the eruption of the first Great World War. Due to the battling in that war, all funds towards making C.C's were, for all practical intents and purposes, frozen. Nobody was interested in the Carnival when the "War to End All Wars" was going on! However, this did not worry the Comical Consortium one bit. According to the journals of Pierre Desrosiers, an accountant who personally dealt with the Comical Consortium, "(they) knew that after the War was over, people throughout the world would be more desperate than ever for entertainment, to drown the sorrows of the past away."
And so they did. Once the War ended on November 11th, 1918, the Calamitous Carnival made its move and started their swift expansion, offering their services to the war-torn areas of Europe. People flocked to the Circuses and profits went higher than ever. This remained for quite a few years; by the time the Second Great World War started in 1945, the Calamitous Carnival had become fully entrenched throughout all of Europe, the Americas, parts of Northern Africa, and the Middle East.
Gloom & Bloom
In spite of their best efforts in turning people's frowns upside-down, smiles tend to evaporate during and after wars. Ratatatats of rifles hushed the laughter of the audience, tank cannons drowned out the applause of the entertained, sound offs and orders displacing cries of awe for the performers. WW2 was exemplary in proving how war can drain a populace of its joy and delight, placing fear and uncertainty in their place as people began to be pessimistic of their conditions, causing all other sorts of unpleasantness to blossom on the ruins left by the great conflict. Ten years after the war ended, WW3 broke out. Misery reigned yet again, exacerbated by the deaths of further millions as homes and town were leveled, economies were irreparably damaged, and widespread sorrow dominated each and every amygdalae of those caught in the crossfire.
Even so, the Carnival persevered, its acts still providing escape hatches from the problems of the world. Illusionists had everybody wondering how they managed to perform feats not thought plausible, comic acts had the audience raising chortles and chuckles with their antics, fire eaters and tightrope walkers had everyone's breath held with their death-defying stunts. Although the attendees' enjoyment was temporary, the impact of the performances they witnessed was far from temporary, as the viewers spread the word that the Calamitous Carnival was in a current town, leading many to flock to their big tents to get a glimpse of their whimsy. Tickets were sold out, no seat was left untaken with spectators literally lining up from the other end of the neighborhood to pay.
At first glance, the Carnival acts and appears like a typical circus. Although noticeably larger than its competitors, it dispenses humor and entertainment not unlike the others. But that is the extent of their similarities.
While stringent policies are in place to ensure no one in the audience gives away the surprises, those who manage to spill the beans tell of the grandiose stunts executed inside the tents, yet genuine at the same time. Case in point: among other tricks, magicians under the Carnival's payroll catch bullets with their teeth 100% of the time, with minimal need for smoke and mirrors. Trained men scarf down on as many swords as they please like snacks, without showing signs of injury and fatigue. Contortionists twist their bodies into near-impossible shapes and stunts, and acrobats and tightrope walkers do their respective stunts as carefree as possible without fear of accidents. Even the special effects used for performances look literally out of this world, giving on the impression that they have just stepped foot in another universe entirely.
That is because those special effects are actually energies gathered from another universe, applied throughout the tent and the performers in a controlled manner. Colloquially referred to as "C-space" by those in the know, this dimension is accessible through a pocket wormhole, which location is something that Barnum took with him to the grave. Two weeks after World War II, a high-ranking member of the Consortium received a parcel from "P. T. Barnum" detailing a marvelous contraption located in the Gadianton Canyon that would 'render grief obsolete' - at least, according to his words.
Sending envoys to the coordinates found in the letter, they discovered, to their shock, the long-dead showman in the flesh and the device he spoke of! Admitting his last will to have his corpse thrown into the Gadianton portal after his death, he recounted how he could feel the twisting energies of the C-space enveloping his cadaver, giving him (if limited) control over the very fabric of reality. But having learned from the accident from Hartford, he told the Consortium at his arrival that C-energy is a terrible thing if left riotous, how stunts and tents must be imbued with only minuscule amounts of it.
He had an idea that was yet more outrageous than powering a circus with another dimension. Performances can now be paid for by commanders, extended in the middle of the battlefield in an attempt to minimize the misery and maximize the mirth of the combatants. Wielding the unpredictable forces of C-energy, an anonymous general has reported that the opposite side is rendered speechless by the nature of the acts, actually being amused by them!
The Tomfoolery Troupe
"STRINGS THAT HOLD YOUR LIFE TOGETHER ENTANGLING YOU TOO TIGHTLY?
LOST TRACK OF MOTIONS YOU GO THROUGH EVERYDAY?
THEN COME ONE, COME, YOU DENIZENS OF THE MULTIVERSE!
SHAKE OFF YOUR COMPLACENCY AND WITNESS FORTUITOUS FORTANELLI WITHSTAND TANK SHOTS WITH HIS GIRTH!
LEAVE YOUR SADNESS AT THE ENTRANCE FOR THE LIVING LIMBS AND THEIR FAITHFUL RENDITIONS OF TRADITIONAL DANCES!
BUT THERE ARE MORE, BROUGHT TO YOU BY NOTHING ELSE BUT THE CALAMITOUS CARNIVAL!
THESE ARE EXPECTED TO TAKE PLACE FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK IN ISTANBUL!
GRAB YOUR TICKETS NOW, FOR MORE PERFORMANCES WILL COME AFTER IT, BUT YOU WOULD NOT KNOW WHAT YOU'VE MISSED!"
- - Poster from a Baklahorani event held at Beşiktaş, Turkey
- Elephant Tamer: The Elephant Tamer is a clown with a particular taste for the dramatic. Riding on top of a gigantic elephant, the Elephant Tamer is a marvelous sight to behold, giving armies, big and small, pause from the various acts the Elephant Tamer can make his steed perform.
- Jester: The laughing frontmen of the Carnival, Jester's seem to be merely nothing more but bumbling buffoons, falling over their own feet and walking into rakes. This, however, is a mere disguise - for the hidden C-power that all clowns and merry men possess lies in them too. Jester's are armed with feathers that tickle people at close range, causing them to become immobilized and unable to fire as long as the Jester tickles them. They can also throw laughing gas grenades that knock entire groups out - and the gas can seep through vehicles as well!
- Marionette: Humanoid facsimiles made out of patchwork sewed together and granted sentience, Marionettes are more durable than their fleshy allies (due to bullets simply passing through them like). Floating due to being drawn by strings from an unknown source up high in the atmosphere, Marionettes can whip unruly players into shape with help from their own strings that they carry. Those strings can also be attached to an enemy unit, making the living puppets control them until they die.
- Fool: To be a Fool is to be trained in the arts of ☞⚐⚐☹☺✋❄💧, an ancient and most wondrous art that allows the Fool to hang on to the cursor if it clicks on him. Soaring high above the ground, the Fool will cling to the cursor until clicked again, at which point he falls straight to the earth and crushes anything beneath him. His secondary picks himself out of the whole he inevitably creates in the ground, ready to go for another round.
- Krazy Kart: The Krazy Kart is a rocket-powered go-kart that can speedily zip around the battlefield without fear of fire. It is armed with a custard-pie launcher that slows and blinds infantry hit, and attracts animals to those hit. The secondary causes the Kart to rise up thirty feet in the air, enabling it to pass through water, other vehicles, and even small defences without harm. However, aircraft can target it in this mode.
- Barnum Clowncar: This clown car looks as if it could possibly sit one small dog at most. However, due to the mystical properties of C-space, it can really hold up to infinite plus one units inside of it. The Barnum can also blow bubbles out of the top - these do nothing, but can be popped if clicked on.
- Parasol Tank: The Parasol Tank is a ridiculous-looking tank that appears to be made out of cardboard. Like its name suggests, the Parasol Tank attacks using an umbrella hidden inside the barrel, and can knock infantry a good distance away by opening the umbrella. This also happens to stun them as well. The Parasol Tank can also fly by using an umbrella opening out from the hatch on top.
THE MAIN ACT!
- Human Cannonball: